you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
