He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Randomize
