So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
