im gay
i know
yea but for you.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
