Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
