Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
