There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
