I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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