Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I am available for nakedness
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
