just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My hand turned me down
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
