I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
