Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize