i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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