why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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