Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
