the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize