I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
