I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
