you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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