It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
