The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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