Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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