you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize
