carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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