I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
