She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
