Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
