***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
