After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
