his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
