More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
