C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the condom got lost in my hair
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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