using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
