Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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