We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
