We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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