I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
