He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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