i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
