are you still at the devil's house?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
