It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
please come you make the beer taste better
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
