New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
