so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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