you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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