As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
