He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
