remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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