i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
