woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
