the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
