How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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