Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
