She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
