It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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