I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize