I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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