I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
