okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
