drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Randomize
