quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think my fart just growled at me.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
only you would photoshop your dick
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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