hell yes lets make some ravioli
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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