let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
