i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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